Special to The Dialog
Domestic violence became a hot national topic last fall when a video of then-Baltimore Raven running back Ray Rice showed him punching his fiancé unconscious and Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was accused of using a tree branch to whip his son.
The outrage over both incidents sent shockwaves not only through the National Football League, which has since developed a program against domestic violence, but across the nation.
However, those incidents were nothing new to the counseling program at Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Wilmington. The agency has provided a Domestic Violence Intervention program for 20 years now. That program had 188 participants in the fiscal year that ended in June 2014.
“These interventions helped prevent or reduce repeat offenses on the part of perpetrators by holding offenders accountable for their unacceptable behavior and teaching them effective ways of negotiating an intimate relationship,” said Fritz Jones, program operations director for Catholic Charities.
This year’s Annual Catholic Appeal will help Catholic Charities continue to provide the program. Domestic violence counseling is one of more than 35 diocesan ministries and services funded by the appeal.
The goal for this year’s appeal is $4,347,000. Catholics will be asked to participate the 2015 Annual Catholic Appeal on Commitment Weekend, April 18-19.
“He Reveals Himself … in the Breaking of the Bread,” taken from the Gospel of Luke 24:35-38, is the theme of this year’s campaign.
The theme is relevant to the Domestic Violence Program in that Jesus first revealed himself in public ministry by changing water into wine, at his mother’s request, at the wedding feast at Cana. The Catholic Church traces its interest in promoting authentic marriage and family life to that feast.
When families are broken by violence, Catholic Charities’ Domestic Violence Program can help mend the family.
“Intimate partner violence is the most common form of violent crime, affecting 12 million women and men a year,” Ellie Torres, executive director of the Delaware Domestic Violence Coordinating Council, wrote to Gov. Jack Markell last October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. “Although we have made substantial progress in reducing domestic violence, one in four women and one in seven men in the United States still suffer serious physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner at least once in their lifetime.”
Twenty years ago, Catholic Charities developed its Domestic Violence Program, one of four sanctioned by the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council, to reach out to families affected.
Most participants in the Charities’ program are referred to it by courts or by the Delaware Division of Family and Child Services. Each Domestic Violence program includes about 10 to 15 offenders, not the spouses, partners or children who suffered the violence.
During 20 weekly meetings, the program helps those who physically abuse family members come to terms with their behavior, the reasons behind it, and ways to overcome it, according to Shamla McLaurin, who heads Catholic Charities’ Behavioral Health Services.
“Violence in families is often trans-generational, meaning it’s repeated behavior throughout generations,” McLaurin said. As a result, breaking the cycle of violence can be difficult.
“Abusive relationships are based on an imbalance of power. Frequently, victims are financially dependent, afraid, suffering from low self-esteem, and isolated from family, friends and outside resources. Abusers lack the skills to alter their behavior.”
The program “focuses on holding the offenders accountable for their behavior by teaching new skills and monitoring their actions while they are participating in the intervention.”
Jones, Catholic Charities’ director of program operations, said the domestic violence counseling “is rooted in Catholic Charities’ mission of providing caring service, based on the recognition of the worth and dignity of every human being.”
Statistics seem to indicate an increased emphasis on deterring domestic violence over the past 20 years has been successful.
The 2014 Annual Report of the Domestic Violence Coordinating Council showed 23,985 domestic violence incidents were reported in Delaware in 2013, down from 27,014 the year before. Criminal incidents, those where a crime is committed or alleged, totaled 14,470, down from 15,103 the year before; those resulting in injury totaled 1,974, down from 2,403 in 2012.
Torres, the council’s executive director, cautioned that the statistics do not reveal the entire scope of the problem. Domestic violence often goes unreported for a number of reasons, including fear of further violence or that the offender may lose his or her job, resulting in more pressures within the family unit.
The courts that refer people to the Domestic Violence Program are now asking if the programs are successful, Torres said.
“Providers tell me it’s very difficult to say what type of success rate you have because it all depends on reporting,” she said. “There’s no guarantee that if there is another incident, the spouse is going to report it. We just have to believe that, if you have people going through this program, if they stick with the program, they see a point where their belief system starts to turn.”
Catholic Charities does have some anecdotal evidence that the program has had an effect, from comments of people who completed the program last year.
“This group has taught me so much about coping with behavior and emotions,” said one woman. “It has greatly improved my relationship.”
“I’ve learned how to deal with my feelings and emotions, how to treat others the way I want to be treated,” one man said.
“I’ve learned to listen to others, talk before acting, be open-minded, everyone has their own stuff, there is a cycle to abuse, and how to give a little to get a little,” another man wrote. “This program changed my life and home life altogether.”
For McLaurin, who oversees the program for Catholic Charities, “the first success is actually completing the program.”
“We hope that the participants take a new skill set away from these group settings that will help promote safety and health in their intimate relationships.”
